Hosting Teens: 10 Commandments for Stress-Free Hangouts
I got a text from my friend this week asking if I happened to have any blog posts about hosting groups of teens. She has 35 teens coming over for youth group and wanted some ideas.
I sent her my go-to menus and offered to lend her anything she needed from my stash of entertaining gear.
Later, she texted back with the question I think a lot of parents are quietly asking:
Why does it feel so intimidating to have teens over?
She’s not the only one who feels this way. Hosting teens does feel scary!
Maybe it’s because we just survived the trenches of elementary school birthday parties, where every second had to be scheduled to avoid absolute chaos.
Maybe our kids have made us feel like we’re no longer cool (is that just me?) and we don’t want to embarrass them in front of their friends.
Or maybe we’re just tired, and the whole thing feels like a lot of work.
The good news is that hosting teens doesn’t have to be complicated.
I’ve hosted kids almost weekly for the last two years, from Saturday night sleepovers to birthday parties and homecoming. The rules really don’t change with the size of the group.
Here’s the truth:
Teens don’t need a program. They simply need food and somewhere to relax, connect, and be themselves.
If you have a tween or teen and need a little confidence boost before you host, keep reading! In this post, I’m sharing my Ten Commandments for hosting teens.
1. Thou shalt not stress out
This is rule numero uno, the most important of them all.
Relaxing your expectations is the difference between having a group over once or twice and creating a sustainable hosting habit that will allow you to say YES to hosting your kids’ friends regularly.
The temptation can be strong to overdo it, but resist.
- Start small and simple if you feel anxious. 3-5 is a great group size to start with.
- Choose the simplest food options (we’ll get to that below).
- Enlist your teen’s help and input; give them autonomy over creating a plan, picking a menu, setting up, and cleanup. Teaches them responsibility, less work for you. Win-win!
2. Thou shalt Create A Safe Space
We built a big barn with a basketball court for kids to hang out in. Attached to the end, there is a tiny lounge with a single sofa, a few small chairs, and some beanbags.
Guess where the kids spend most of their time? Yep. They all squeeze into the tiny room.
The truth is, teens don’t need an over-the-top setup with pool tables and foosball and a built-in wet bar.
They just need a space that’s theirs for the night. Someplace they can talk freely, connect and laugh together.
A basement with a couch or a backyard with a fire pit is plenty. Give them a safe space, then back away and let their night unfold.
Of course, if you’re like me and can’t help yourself… here is a tour of the lounge in our party barn with some fun ideas that you can steal to spruce up your basement or rec room.
3. Thou shalt hand over the aux
Music that they can control is a must.
Whether it’s a portable bluetooth speaker or a smart-tv with a Spotify app, make sure they have access to play their favorite playlists.
You can have a conversation with your teen beforehand about volume and acceptable music, depending on the age of the kids and where they are hanging out. Younger kids might need a little guidance, but the older kids seem to self-regulate pretty well. You can always discreetly step in if things get too loud…
A spinoff of this is having a TV/gaming system available for smaller groups to watch a movie or play games if that fits the plan for the evening.
4. Thou shalt not overplan
The truth is, activities aren’t really necessary. If you do want to offer an activity, one or two simple options is enough.
- Outside: a volleyball net, a pop-up pickleball net, or yard games like Spikeball (seems to be the favorite), KanJam or Cornhole
- Inside: card games, group cooking, movie night
- Seasonal: caramel apple making in September, cookie decorating at Christmas, pumpkin carving in October, Easter egg hunt in spring, water balloon fight in summer
5. Thou shalt light a fire
If weather permits, this one is a must-do.
Sitting outside by a fire is a low-effort, high-reward activity. One scientific study that found a correlation between the sights and sounds of sitting by a fire and an increase in relaxation (specifically, lowered blood pressure). Science aside, you’ve probably experienced the unique joy of sitting around a fire talking with loved ones on a camping trip. There’s just something special about it.
Stock up on S’mores supplies. Drag some chairs into a circle (one per guest, if possible). Bring out the SoloStove, throw in a few logs, and your job is done!
I move ours around the yard depending on what we’re doing.
6. Thou shalt not run out of food
The most important tip I can give you when hosting teens is that you should have food available and freely accessible at all times.
I don’t always serve a whole meal, but I always have something out for the kid who came straight from practice or didn’t get to grab dinner at home.
In our hangout room, I keep:
- A stocked drink fridge with sparkling water, Gatorade, bottled water and sodas
- A microwave and microwave popcorn an easy, shelf-stable option
- A snack rack with chips and individually bagged treats
- Treat Jars with peanut M&Ms, Skittles, Reese’s and chocolate bought in bulk from Sam’s Club
If you are hosting in a place that isn’t always a hangout space, you can just put out a cooler with drinks and some bowls of snacks.
Tip: If I’m not serving a meal, I usually order hot pizzas and have them delivered an hour or two into the function. It doesn’t have to be as much as you’d order for a full meal, just plan for a single slice per person. Some people may not eat, others may have 2 slices.
Serving A Full Meal
If you’re going to serve a full meal for a youth group gathering, team dinner or other larger occasion, a buffet is always the way to go.
Kids have a wide range of dietary restrictions and personal preferences (no cheese! no onions! no beans!). A build-your-own setup lets each person take something they’ll actually eat and you know everyone will be covered.
TIP: I always try to offer a gluten-free combination in my offerings; there is usually someone in the crowd who needs it.
These are my three go-tos for hosting a group of teens:
Pizza night
- Pizza, a salad bar with bagged lettuce and individual toppings in bowls, and a fruit plate
- I generally plan for 2 slices per person, or one pizza for every 4 guests.
- A crowd of 35 would require 9 pizzas (8 slices per pizza).
- You can generally round down if it’s close because there are always leftovers with pizza. But it’s better to have a little extra than not enough!
Taco bar
- Offer a variety of proteins such as crockpot birria, grilled chopped chicken and ground beef taco meat
- Cook a big batch of copycat Chipotle rice in your instapot/rice cooker and heat up some beans for kids to make burrito bowls
- Set out bowls of toppings such as shredded lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and salsas
- Chips, salsa and guacamole round it out
- Google’s estimates have always been WAY too much meat for this type of DIY taco bar in my experience.
- For 35 people, it suggests 11-14 lbs. of meat but I would scale that back. You probably need more like 9-10 lbs. if you’re offering a single meat, like ground beef.
- If you split it between 2 meats, do 6 lbs. per meat. You’ll have more meat (and probably more leftover) but it covers the fact that some kids may take some of both. Plus you never know which will be more popular so it’s good to have enough extra for people to choose.
- If you do 3, plan for 4 lbs. of each. Same as above. You may have more leftovers due to the choice.
Pasta bar
- Choose a few noodle shapes (maybe a spaghetti and a penne) and serve with jarred alfredo and marinara.
- You can also offer protein such as meatballs (buy them frozen and heat them in jarred sauce in a crockpot ahead of time) or grilled chicken.
- Buy LOTS of garlic bread! I like the Texas Toast from Sam’s club; 2 pieces per person.
- Do a bulk bagged garden salad with Olive Garden dressing and some croutons on the side
- Again, Google estimates tend to be overkill. It says 1 lb. of pasta for 4-5 guests. You could push that to at least every 6 guests. So for 35 people, you would need 6 lbs. of dry pasta total. Pair that with 3 jars of marinara and 3 jars of alfredo to allow for variety and 1 bag of frozen meatballs.
7. Thou Shalt Use Disposables
They make paper cups and plates and disposable tablecloths for a reason. This is the reason.
One time, I chose to use real plates for a teen gathering, and we lost a piece of china. I guess I got what I deserved for trying to be all fancy.
If you want fancy, just get the disposable plates that look like china. Sophistiplate seriously has the cutest options…you should take a look! But you can also grab a pack or two of good options from HomeGoods or Marshalls.
Lay down disposable plastic tablecloths (I buy mine from the Dollar Tree) on the serving table for quick and easy cleanup, and just toss it (crumbs and all) at the end of the night.
Buy a silverware caddy and keep it stocked with disposable forks, spoons and napkins.
You’ll thank me at the end of the night.
8. Thou shalt not hover
There’s a fine balance between checking in occasionally and hovering.
I suggest planning for a way to keep the food warm so you’re not running in and out all night. When I host a meal, I use a combination of warming mats, chafing dishes and crockpots to keep food at a safe temperature all night long.
Set it up once, and the kids can come back for seconds whenever they want.
Here are my favorite tools:
Warming Mats
These are a newer addition to my hosting collection and honestly, they are game changing. They can keep multiple plates of food hot for hours – safely. You don’t have to worry about burning or fuel.
I recently used them to keep a Chipotle catering order warm and I simply sat the plastic containers on top. It worked SO well… I had to turn the heat down.
These are great for hosting at the holidays too, so you’ll get your money’s worth out of them.
Crock Pots
Oldies and goodies. I run an extension cord with a power strip to the back of my serving table when I’m using crock pots.
You can always use your everyday slow cooker (and borrow a few from your friends if you need extras!).
If you are going to host frequently, consider investing in a triple server, like the one I linked below. These are awesome for serving when you’re hosting teens because they’ll keep the food warm and worry-free all night.
They are especially great for taco bars, pasta bars, and any kind of hot dips.
Chafing Dishes
I usually just use the inexpensive wire stands with disposable foil pans because they make cleanup really easy.
- Prep the food ahead of time and put it in the foil pans on warm in your oven.
- When it’s time for the party, carry them outside and put them in the wire rack on top of a large foil pan filled with about a cup of water.
- Light the cooking fuel. Most fuel canisters will keep the food piping hot for about 2 hours. If it doesn’t burn out, you can extinguish the flame by putting the lid back on top and reuse the fuel again next time!
- When the party is over, transfer leftovers directly to the fridge or toss the food pans. You can reuse the water pans that go on the bottom next time!
9. give them a Treat worth talking about
Dirty Soda Bar
- Buy a variety of canned sodas or 2-liter sodas for a one-time event
- Choose 2 flavors of creamers. We like Chobani French Vanilla and Toasted Coconut!
- Grab a few bottles of Torani syrups (pumps are nice, but not a requirement)
- You can add extras like maraschino cherries and sliced lemons/limes if you want
- Provide straws, to-go cups with lids, and Sonic ice if you’re feeling fancy (you can go to Sonic and ask to just buy a bag of ice!)
For a themed event, you can display a sign with possible combinations and fun names. Or just set it all out and let them experiment!
Homemade Dessert
My other go-to hosting strategy is to make a large-batch dessert to deliver to the kids toward the end of the gathering.
I’ve done cookies + Rice Krispie treats but the one kids rave about the most are hot brownies. I just make a 2-pouch batch of the Hershey’s brownie mix from Sam’s Club in a half-sheet cake pan.
- Line it with parchment paper before baking.
- When the brownies are just shy of fully cooked, pull out the parchment paper and place the brownies on a cutting board to cool a bit.
- Sprinkle with a dusting of powdered sugar and serve hot. The entire tray will disappear.
10. Honor thy curfew
An overlooked, but VERY important part of hosting teens is setting a pick-up time beforehand and making sure everyone knows what it is.
Share it with parents if you are in communication with them. Otherwise, task your teen with passing on the details via group text or Snap so everyone knows the expectation before the party starts.
Tip: Mentally add an extra 30 minutes to the time you planned on the event being over to account for stragglers and late rides. It’s inevitable when you say a gathering ends at 10 that the last guests will leave closer to 10:30. If you have a hard deadline, work backward to determine the event end time.
See? You can do this! Here’s the recap:
- Give them a space to hangout
- Add music, plenty of food, and maybe a campfire
- Disappear (except for checking in + dropping off a treat or two)
- Be clear on your ending time
Still nervous about hosting teens? Tell me in the comments what you’re trying to figure out, and I’ll help!
Thanks for reading!
xoxo,
